Mothers. Mothers are pests. When you got your first tattoo, your mother was the first to FREAK OUT. When you got arrested for DUI and called her to bail you out, she stood on the other side of the glass and laughed, then walked away without bailing you out so you could learn your lesson a little more thoroughly. When you dated that person in high school who was never going to amount to anything, your mother was the one who told you you were wasting your time. When you didn't do your homework or failed a class your mother was there to ground you until your GPA came up.
There are a lot of important people in your life. Brothers and sisters. Spouses and best friends. Grandparents and cousins. But for those of us who have a good relationship with our mothers, literally nothing can replace that.
Aside from your parents, your siblings are usually the ones who have been around you the most. They've been your partners in crime, blamed you for peeling wallpaper off the bathroom wall, and bet you a Reeses Cup to touch a hot stove for five seconds. They know how to push your buttons. And when you got a DUI and were freaking out that your parents would kill you, you called your big brother to help you pay it off without them finding out. Siblings will be there for you as much as they can. Until you make them mad. Then they'll rat you out to mom and dad and you'll face the firing squad for getting caught with beer at nineteen.
Your siblings are awesome (sometimes). But they're not your mother. Your mother is the one who pulls a wooden spoon out of her back pocket when you and your brother get caught tying fireworks to the cat's tail. She's the one who knows by the look on your face you're not the wallpaper peeling culprit. She won't just bandage your hands when you held your hand on the hot stove for an extra second to make sure you got the Reeses Cup your brother bet you, she'll tell you how stupid you were for doing it. Your siblings may love you, but your mother has done more than love you. She has endured you.
Your mother knows you better than anyone. She may not know your overly complicated sorority girl coffee order like your best friend or significant other does, but she makes up for it in other ways. When you call your mother crying your eyes out about a mid-twenties crisis that's not really a crisis, you don't even have to get your first word out before she starts telling you exactly what you need to hear. That's because she's probably known exactly what you were going to freak out about for a while. And when you find yourself wandering aimlessly around a foreign country, your mother is the one who knows what to say to make sure you don't come home until you've accomplished what you went there to do. Even if you don't know what that something is. Your mother knows your personality so well you don't even need to consult a psychic or a palm reader. She knew when you were eighteen you would marry someone several years older than you. She also knew you weren't getting married until you were at least twenty-four. She knew when you were five you would enjoy jumping out of planes and backpacking solo through Europe as an adult. And when you're teetering on the edge of a big decision, she doesn't just tell you the right decision, she helps you through the decision making process so you can make the decision on your own and move forward with confidence.
Ultimately, your mother is the one who has been your disciplinarian, your shoulder to cry on (even if you don't really cry), and your best source of advice. She's the one who spent your entire life making sure you would grow up to be a capable and independent individual. And for as long as she's around, you won't find anyone to match her.
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Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Monday, February 22, 2016
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Why I Want to Travel
Whenever I tell people I'm going to go backpack Europe for the next several months, a common question is, "why?" To which I readily respond, "why not?!" They usually follow it up with a slight chuckle and then comment, "I wish I could do/had done that." Tonight I've found myself asking that same question. Why do I want to travel? What has possessed me to sell all the possessions that have helped me identify who I am in order to live out of a backpack on the other side of the world? The answer I've discovered is two-fold. Both of which sound quite cliché, but I'm going to say them anyway.
The first reason is quite simple. In 20 years, I don't want to be one of those people that sits there and says, "Man, I wish I had done that." Regret looks so ugly strewn across even the most beautiful face. I want to be one of those rare beings that enthusiastically leaps at the opportunity to share my stories, advice, and favorite places to eat. As much as I want to soak up every word these people say to me, it's quite impossible to do without a recorder. Even if I had one, I can't possibly go to all the places they've all told me in a single trip; even if it does last more than six months. But these are the people I enjoy talking to the most. Most of these people, especially the ones who traveled less often, or didn't travel lavishly, get a certain twinkle in their eye when they share their stories. Almost as if they were talking about their first love. Most everyone seems to have a person that can give them that eye twinkle, few have a life that gives it to them. I want to be one of those people. I want to be so in love with my own life that people feel inspired and infected by my enthusiasm for it. For me, loving life means regular adventures.
The second half of why I want to travel is experience. Experience, being an ongoing and very much individual process, is an arbitrary term; so allow me to explain what I mean. This is complete speculation on my part, seeing as how I have never been outside the United States and my entire knowledge of the "outside world" has come from my "higher education," the news, the internet, and hear-say. I believe, however, that Americans are some of the most privileged, yet least culturally aware people on earth. According to the state department, only about 36% of Americans even own a valid passport. I, for one, have had a passport for several years, yet it has gone unused. I wonder how many of the other 36% are in the same boat as myself...
Most of this seems to be because of convenience. The United States is huge. It takes up most of the inhabitable portion of North America. Our only shared borders are with Canada and Mexico. The most prevalent foreign culture in the United States is the Hispanic culture, and no other foreign culture comes close to that percentage. We share so much with them that Spanish is taught as a second language in probably every high school in the United States. If there is a high school or college in the US that doesn't teach Spanish as a second language, I would be genuinely surprised. Also, to put the vast size of the United States into perspective, just pull up a world map (here you go, you lazy bastards). I won't lie, as a child I thought the United States was blown up on world maps because we were the best and most important. While I'd still give our great nation a high-five or some kind of secret handshake for being awesome, we're actually just that big. The puppy dog head (Sweden, Finland, and Norway) could literally fit inside Alaska with room to spare. In the same mileage it would take to drive across Texas from wingtip to wingtip, you could drive across several countries in Europe, depending on what route you took. Having said that, Americans usually have to drive hundreds if not thousands of miles to cross an international border and experience an all new culture. Europeans, on the other hand.. Well, you can walk across Andorra in less time than it takes the sun to set on their beautiful mountains.
As exhausting/exciting as it sounds to take a road trip through the entire continental United States - and even most of Canada - you would be hard pressed to find a culture too different from your own. In fact, if you're ever forced to play a game of charades because of a language barrier with more than five people present, you probably took a wrong turn and wound up in Mexico. Even though America is filled with sub-cultures, basically everyone (with the exceptions of immigrants and expats) whether democrat, republican, Christian or atheist, everyone you run into in the United States is an American. We all share a common patriotism, language, and cultural history. This isn't so in Europe. Each country has a very unique history, patriotism, and language. Some countries even have several languages. Switzerland has four official languages! The argument could be made that Europeans are all still very European, and they are, but I still believe that with all the border hopping, the charades played to decipher languages (and learning several different languages), and even going from the old architecture of Budapest to the modern buildings in Copenhagen, there is a better understanding of the differences between people in the world. Also, I would like to point out that the European Union actually goes out of it's way to ensure that dying cultures stay alive in their respective areas.
The point here with the experience, I suppose, is that I want to experience the cultures. I want to know what differentiates the Austrians from the Swiss aside from a simple border and language. I don't want to just read about this stuff anymore. I want to go there, see it all for myself, and know it well enough to write about it. I want to be drenched, miserable, and lost. I want to be completely enamored by a picturesque scene. I want to drop a coin in the hat of a street performer and watch them come alive. I want to have the experiences and memories that will give me that twinkle in my eye when I think back on them. I don't just want to be a citizen of the United States. I want to be a citizen of Europe too. And Asia, and Africa, and South America, and Australia. I want to be a citizen of the world.
The first reason is quite simple. In 20 years, I don't want to be one of those people that sits there and says, "Man, I wish I had done that." Regret looks so ugly strewn across even the most beautiful face. I want to be one of those rare beings that enthusiastically leaps at the opportunity to share my stories, advice, and favorite places to eat. As much as I want to soak up every word these people say to me, it's quite impossible to do without a recorder. Even if I had one, I can't possibly go to all the places they've all told me in a single trip; even if it does last more than six months. But these are the people I enjoy talking to the most. Most of these people, especially the ones who traveled less often, or didn't travel lavishly, get a certain twinkle in their eye when they share their stories. Almost as if they were talking about their first love. Most everyone seems to have a person that can give them that eye twinkle, few have a life that gives it to them. I want to be one of those people. I want to be so in love with my own life that people feel inspired and infected by my enthusiasm for it. For me, loving life means regular adventures.
The second half of why I want to travel is experience. Experience, being an ongoing and very much individual process, is an arbitrary term; so allow me to explain what I mean. This is complete speculation on my part, seeing as how I have never been outside the United States and my entire knowledge of the "outside world" has come from my "higher education," the news, the internet, and hear-say. I believe, however, that Americans are some of the most privileged, yet least culturally aware people on earth. According to the state department, only about 36% of Americans even own a valid passport. I, for one, have had a passport for several years, yet it has gone unused. I wonder how many of the other 36% are in the same boat as myself...
Most of this seems to be because of convenience. The United States is huge. It takes up most of the inhabitable portion of North America. Our only shared borders are with Canada and Mexico. The most prevalent foreign culture in the United States is the Hispanic culture, and no other foreign culture comes close to that percentage. We share so much with them that Spanish is taught as a second language in probably every high school in the United States. If there is a high school or college in the US that doesn't teach Spanish as a second language, I would be genuinely surprised. Also, to put the vast size of the United States into perspective, just pull up a world map (here you go, you lazy bastards). I won't lie, as a child I thought the United States was blown up on world maps because we were the best and most important. While I'd still give our great nation a high-five or some kind of secret handshake for being awesome, we're actually just that big. The puppy dog head (Sweden, Finland, and Norway) could literally fit inside Alaska with room to spare. In the same mileage it would take to drive across Texas from wingtip to wingtip, you could drive across several countries in Europe, depending on what route you took. Having said that, Americans usually have to drive hundreds if not thousands of miles to cross an international border and experience an all new culture. Europeans, on the other hand.. Well, you can walk across Andorra in less time than it takes the sun to set on their beautiful mountains.
As exhausting/exciting as it sounds to take a road trip through the entire continental United States - and even most of Canada - you would be hard pressed to find a culture too different from your own. In fact, if you're ever forced to play a game of charades because of a language barrier with more than five people present, you probably took a wrong turn and wound up in Mexico. Even though America is filled with sub-cultures, basically everyone (with the exceptions of immigrants and expats) whether democrat, republican, Christian or atheist, everyone you run into in the United States is an American. We all share a common patriotism, language, and cultural history. This isn't so in Europe. Each country has a very unique history, patriotism, and language. Some countries even have several languages. Switzerland has four official languages! The argument could be made that Europeans are all still very European, and they are, but I still believe that with all the border hopping, the charades played to decipher languages (and learning several different languages), and even going from the old architecture of Budapest to the modern buildings in Copenhagen, there is a better understanding of the differences between people in the world. Also, I would like to point out that the European Union actually goes out of it's way to ensure that dying cultures stay alive in their respective areas.
The point here with the experience, I suppose, is that I want to experience the cultures. I want to know what differentiates the Austrians from the Swiss aside from a simple border and language. I don't want to just read about this stuff anymore. I want to go there, see it all for myself, and know it well enough to write about it. I want to be drenched, miserable, and lost. I want to be completely enamored by a picturesque scene. I want to drop a coin in the hat of a street performer and watch them come alive. I want to have the experiences and memories that will give me that twinkle in my eye when I think back on them. I don't just want to be a citizen of the United States. I want to be a citizen of Europe too. And Asia, and Africa, and South America, and Australia. I want to be a citizen of the world.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Homesick
So, I've been back home from Leo and I's road trip a couple of weeks now. Once I got back I had some sort of upper respiratory infection for about a week. Physically, I am better; mentally, I am as homesick as they come. The problem is, I am home. With the exception of a couple of short stints in Alabama and Pittsburgh, I've lived here my entire life. I shouldn't feel homesick here (I could do with moving back to Pittsburgh, but Hellabama... No.). I'm not homesick for any place I am familiar with, I am homesick for the places I've never been. I'm homesick to see Igazu Falls on the border of Brazil and Argentina, for the Petra in Jordan, Plitvice Lakes in Croatia, the fjords of Norway, Angel Falls in Venezuela, the Matterhorn in Switzerland, Ha Long Bay in Vietnam, and the Great Wall of China. I am homesick for the world. I live in it, and yet I haven't seen it.
So I'm going to.
A while back I had planned to take a couple of months leave of absence from work to go backpack through Europe. That plan fell through when my leave wasn't approved, and I resigned to take a week long road trip in the US. The road trip only exacerbated the issue. I've never wanted to come home from vacation and return to work, but this time was different. Not only did I not want to come home and go to work, I didn't want to come home period. I didn't want to drive my own car, use my own shower, or sleep in my own bed. These are all things I always look forward to when coming home. Especially sleeping in my own bed. I am in love with my bed, we have a special bond. If I'm gone and someone else sleeps in it, I get jealous. It's bad. But this time all the usual comforts of home tasted like dirt. Since coming home, it's just felt like I've had the worst case of cotton mouth in the history of man. So I did the only logical thing I could do. I put in my notice at work and booked a one-way flight to Spain. I leave in six weeks.
While this sounds like a spur of the moment type of decision, it's actually been brewing for a long time. And by a long time, I mean that pretty much for as long as I can remember it's been my dream to just quit life and disappear to travel the world. Ideally, I would leave without telling anyone, and just share my stories upon my return. Seeing as how my family and a few friends would probably be worried about me, I decided to share my plan with them. I've been obsessed with this idea to the point that I literally carried my passport and $2,000 in my school bag throughout most of my college career. Nothing made me want to run away more than college did. Especially after I returned from Pittsburgh. The night that I watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, I told my best friend Juli that I was about to turn it on. She must have set an alarm for the length of the movie, because as soon as it was over, she called me. I was on my laptop, credit card in hand, looking for the cheapest international flight I could find. She knows me too well. It took her a little while, but she finally convinced me that it would be foolish for me to quit college in my last semester, and that it was about to be cold in Europe anyway (but it would have been warm in the Southern Hemisphere!!!). So I finished school. Probably a smart move.. Thanks for that, Juli.
But now here I am, a college graduate who has yet to move out of her parents house. I've become increasingly annoyed with my job. I love what I do, but it was only ever meant to be a stepping stone, and I've been firmly standing on it with both feet. That hasn't been sitting well with me. My options were to look for a real job and start my career, or follow what I've always wanted to do and travel the world. So, I bought a backpack and a couple other essentials. I've sold all of my big ticket items except for my bed (I just can't let it go!) and my car. I sent the final payment for my car and the title should be here next week. Once I get it, I'm going to sell my car as well. Then it'll be off to Europe!
***** Update *****
The Havok Journal was kind enough to feature this blog post on their website this past Tuesday. They are part of an up and coming company called Blackside Concepts that is dedicated to veterans issues, and they have some incredible and eclectic reading material on their site. They have started a "Travel Tuesday" portion to the Havok that will feature Leo's trip through South America. Check them out!
So I'm going to.
A while back I had planned to take a couple of months leave of absence from work to go backpack through Europe. That plan fell through when my leave wasn't approved, and I resigned to take a week long road trip in the US. The road trip only exacerbated the issue. I've never wanted to come home from vacation and return to work, but this time was different. Not only did I not want to come home and go to work, I didn't want to come home period. I didn't want to drive my own car, use my own shower, or sleep in my own bed. These are all things I always look forward to when coming home. Especially sleeping in my own bed. I am in love with my bed, we have a special bond. If I'm gone and someone else sleeps in it, I get jealous. It's bad. But this time all the usual comforts of home tasted like dirt. Since coming home, it's just felt like I've had the worst case of cotton mouth in the history of man. So I did the only logical thing I could do. I put in my notice at work and booked a one-way flight to Spain. I leave in six weeks.
While this sounds like a spur of the moment type of decision, it's actually been brewing for a long time. And by a long time, I mean that pretty much for as long as I can remember it's been my dream to just quit life and disappear to travel the world. Ideally, I would leave without telling anyone, and just share my stories upon my return. Seeing as how my family and a few friends would probably be worried about me, I decided to share my plan with them. I've been obsessed with this idea to the point that I literally carried my passport and $2,000 in my school bag throughout most of my college career. Nothing made me want to run away more than college did. Especially after I returned from Pittsburgh. The night that I watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, I told my best friend Juli that I was about to turn it on. She must have set an alarm for the length of the movie, because as soon as it was over, she called me. I was on my laptop, credit card in hand, looking for the cheapest international flight I could find. She knows me too well. It took her a little while, but she finally convinced me that it would be foolish for me to quit college in my last semester, and that it was about to be cold in Europe anyway (but it would have been warm in the Southern Hemisphere!!!). So I finished school. Probably a smart move.. Thanks for that, Juli.
But now here I am, a college graduate who has yet to move out of her parents house. I've become increasingly annoyed with my job. I love what I do, but it was only ever meant to be a stepping stone, and I've been firmly standing on it with both feet. That hasn't been sitting well with me. My options were to look for a real job and start my career, or follow what I've always wanted to do and travel the world. So, I bought a backpack and a couple other essentials. I've sold all of my big ticket items except for my bed (I just can't let it go!) and my car. I sent the final payment for my car and the title should be here next week. Once I get it, I'm going to sell my car as well. Then it'll be off to Europe!
***** Update *****
The Havok Journal was kind enough to feature this blog post on their website this past Tuesday. They are part of an up and coming company called Blackside Concepts that is dedicated to veterans issues, and they have some incredible and eclectic reading material on their site. They have started a "Travel Tuesday" portion to the Havok that will feature Leo's trip through South America. Check them out!
Thursday, January 1, 2015
New Year, New Nothing.
I hate New Years. That's a lie. I hate New Years resolutions. Anyone who waits until they have to buy a new calendar to set a goal for themselves is not only lazy, but not going to achieve jack shit. Goals are meant to be set, pursued, and achieved on a continuing basis; not professed right after a new years kiss, pursued for a month, then forgotten, only to have the same process with the same goal repeated 365 days later.
I do, however, find New Years to be a good time of reflection. The holidays are finally over, some people are about to return to the black hole of intelligence that is commonly referred to as school or college (NOT THIS GIRL, MOTHER FUCKERS!!!), and most of us are planning to attend some type of party. Or working. I'd just like to give a quick shout out to all the emergency services personnel and military members working on New Years. It is the most dangerous day of the year for the boys in blue, and I'm beyond ecstatic that this year it falls on my regularly scheduled weekend and I won't be at work. Anyway. Back to reflection. After the last two months of suffering through an overdose of family time and wading through finals I utilized some of this free time which I have yet to grow accustomed to think about the things I learned in 2014. Here's the list I came up with:
1) College is a lie.
2) Enjoy being single. Few men are worth a power-walk.
3) Free time. It's a rare commodity. Use it. Love it.
4) Some things are better with a buzz.
5) Regular adventures are important to your overall happiness.
6) Having a purpose is equally important.
#1 - A lot of the world probably disagrees with me on this one (except for graduating high-schoolers arguing with their parents, using Bill Gates as their examples as why they don't need to receive any form of higher education), but I don't really give a shit. College has its merits, particularly for those who wouldn't figure out how to grow up and move out otherwise, but a degree is not what's going to get you a big bank roll. Everyone and their dog has a degree these days, and a lot of them are unemployed or not working in their field of study. Professionalism and valuable, relative experience can start to get you a job, but I've discovered that a lot of what it comes down to is not even who you know, but rather, who knows you. I've met the CEO of Tyson a handful of times, but I can't say that I really know him very well. In fact, I can't even remember his first name right now. But his family and mine have been friends for years. His kids are the same age as some of my older siblings, my mom is friends with his wife, and he employs my sister. This caused him to hire me to house sit for them at one of their lake houses over Christmas a few years ago. On top of my regular pay, they gave me a hefty Christmas bonus, something I certainly didn't deserve since I'd only house sat for them twice that year, but he knew me. He knew I was trying to move, that I was going to have some extra expenses, and gave me an extra check. The point is, I don't know this man. This wealthy, generous, humble man whose name I can't even remember gave me a job opportunity and some much needed extra income because he knew my name and my reputation; not because I met him at a party once.
#2 - This is simply my personal experience with my ex. Honestly though, if you're the woman in the relationship and you call him "your drama mamma," that should be a sign to run, not walk, to the nearest exit. I relearned my lesson though, I guess. Being single is a ton of fun, and it can be lonely, but it's not as lonely has having a boyfriend who breaks every promise he makes. Don't waste your time. Instead, focus on just doing you. Have fun with your friends, go on adventures, learn a new skill, and just chill the fuck out. If somebody worth having comes along, then fine, but make sure he's worth having before you dive into that. But don't chase. Take Mat Best's wise T-shirt advice and just power-walk.. Preferably after one with a beard and tattoos. And if you don't get that reference, you need to get your life right and become an American. Here's how.
#3 - Oh my God, free time! For basically the last six years, I've been too busy with work and school to even have a glimpse at what the fabled "free time" was. Until this past summer. I was only working one full-time job, and I didn't have any summer classes. Honestly, I've never had so much fun in just a few months. I went on road trips, I had adventure Tuesdays, went kayaking, skydiving, running, mountain biking, hiking, boating, bowling, swimming, and whatever the fuck else I felt like doing. God it was glorious. Then school started back up. Now that I'm done with college forever, I don't know what to do with my free time. I know I want to chill out for a couple months before I dive into my career (whenever I figure out what the next step is going to be), but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to chill again. I'm a fair weather girl, and dead trees are just fucking ugly. So things like kayaking and hiking have lost their allure for the time being. I'll get it figured out though. I'm not so easily deterred.
#4 - Do I even need to explain this? I'm not saying you need to get hammered to have a good time, but a good buzz can exponentially increase the hilarity of a lot of situations. Also, if tequila even touches my tongue I can go from being the wort person to be around to the happiest mother fucker on planet earth.
#5 - Two words: Adventure Tuesdays (probably Saturdays for all you fuckers with an 8-5. Lucky bastards) I guess I discovered this over this last summer when I was finding out what free time was and how it's best utilized. I'd had no idea how miserable I was in school until summer was coming to an end and I crammed in a road trip to Houston/Galveston/San Antonio and a camping trip in one week. #4 also played a big role in that week, and by the end of it I had jumped off a cliff, gotten a sunburn that would make the devil himself jealous, taught myself to surf, vomited uncontrollably in the woods, and I suspect I was nearly eaten by a mountain lion. I regret nothing.
#6 - As alluring as it sounds to just have life be one big party and adventure all the time, you need a purpose. Or at least I do. I guess I've always known that I needed a purpose, and I've desperately searched for one that fits me, one that I can enjoy and make a career out of, but it never hit as hard as it did these last couple of weeks since graduating. Nothing hits you in the face like someone saying, "Oh, you graduated college, where are you working now?" I know I'm very fortunate to have a good paying, full-time job and no college loans to be paying off, but there's nothing I hate more than answering that question right now because the answer is "the same fucking thing I've been doing for the last three years." I love my job, really I do, but it's nothing I want to make a career out of. It was purely meant to get me through college and no further. I'm the kind of person that's always had the next ten steps figured out. Honestly, for a while I did have the next several steps figured out, but not anymore. Life is funny like that. I heard somewhere that life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans, and that's definitely what's happened. The simple fact that I haven't gotten it figured out yet is driving my type A personality up a wall. I do have an alter ego though, my type B side. My type B side is just enjoying the free time.
While I find reflection to be one of the more valuable things about new years, and I hate the "new year, new me" bullshit everyone tries to sell on their facebook posts, I maintain that reflection can go both ways. Resolutions are a good idea, people just don't know how to execute them. Resolutions aren't meant to come around every 365 days, they're meant to come around whenever you discover the need for improvement or change. If it's November, or June or February and you decide shit needs to happen, make that shit happen. Fuck resolutions day. I will, however, concede to the fact that in order to propel yourself forward in life, it's important to set goals for yourself (constantly, not yearly) and while the new year is a convenient time to do that, it shouldn't be the only time you do it.
No attempt at philosophy would be complete without some hippocracy, so here's my goals for 2015.
1) Fist fight a shark.
2) Eat something spicy without crying.
3) Get fired from a trebuchet.
4) Hail a cab (preferably in a foreign country where you're scared for your life as you weave in and out of traffic at neck-breaking speeds).
5) Execute Ayman Al Zawahiri - MERICA.
Set a goal. Work towards it. Achieve it. Learn from it. Up the ante and repeat.
I do, however, find New Years to be a good time of reflection. The holidays are finally over, some people are about to return to the black hole of intelligence that is commonly referred to as school or college (NOT THIS GIRL, MOTHER FUCKERS!!!), and most of us are planning to attend some type of party. Or working. I'd just like to give a quick shout out to all the emergency services personnel and military members working on New Years. It is the most dangerous day of the year for the boys in blue, and I'm beyond ecstatic that this year it falls on my regularly scheduled weekend and I won't be at work. Anyway. Back to reflection. After the last two months of suffering through an overdose of family time and wading through finals I utilized some of this free time which I have yet to grow accustomed to think about the things I learned in 2014. Here's the list I came up with:
1) College is a lie.
2) Enjoy being single. Few men are worth a power-walk.
3) Free time. It's a rare commodity. Use it. Love it.
4) Some things are better with a buzz.
5) Regular adventures are important to your overall happiness.
6) Having a purpose is equally important.
#1 - A lot of the world probably disagrees with me on this one (except for graduating high-schoolers arguing with their parents, using Bill Gates as their examples as why they don't need to receive any form of higher education), but I don't really give a shit. College has its merits, particularly for those who wouldn't figure out how to grow up and move out otherwise, but a degree is not what's going to get you a big bank roll. Everyone and their dog has a degree these days, and a lot of them are unemployed or not working in their field of study. Professionalism and valuable, relative experience can start to get you a job, but I've discovered that a lot of what it comes down to is not even who you know, but rather, who knows you. I've met the CEO of Tyson a handful of times, but I can't say that I really know him very well. In fact, I can't even remember his first name right now. But his family and mine have been friends for years. His kids are the same age as some of my older siblings, my mom is friends with his wife, and he employs my sister. This caused him to hire me to house sit for them at one of their lake houses over Christmas a few years ago. On top of my regular pay, they gave me a hefty Christmas bonus, something I certainly didn't deserve since I'd only house sat for them twice that year, but he knew me. He knew I was trying to move, that I was going to have some extra expenses, and gave me an extra check. The point is, I don't know this man. This wealthy, generous, humble man whose name I can't even remember gave me a job opportunity and some much needed extra income because he knew my name and my reputation; not because I met him at a party once.
#2 - This is simply my personal experience with my ex. Honestly though, if you're the woman in the relationship and you call him "your drama mamma," that should be a sign to run, not walk, to the nearest exit. I relearned my lesson though, I guess. Being single is a ton of fun, and it can be lonely, but it's not as lonely has having a boyfriend who breaks every promise he makes. Don't waste your time. Instead, focus on just doing you. Have fun with your friends, go on adventures, learn a new skill, and just chill the fuck out. If somebody worth having comes along, then fine, but make sure he's worth having before you dive into that. But don't chase. Take Mat Best's wise T-shirt advice and just power-walk.. Preferably after one with a beard and tattoos. And if you don't get that reference, you need to get your life right and become an American. Here's how.
#3 - Oh my God, free time! For basically the last six years, I've been too busy with work and school to even have a glimpse at what the fabled "free time" was. Until this past summer. I was only working one full-time job, and I didn't have any summer classes. Honestly, I've never had so much fun in just a few months. I went on road trips, I had adventure Tuesdays, went kayaking, skydiving, running, mountain biking, hiking, boating, bowling, swimming, and whatever the fuck else I felt like doing. God it was glorious. Then school started back up. Now that I'm done with college forever, I don't know what to do with my free time. I know I want to chill out for a couple months before I dive into my career (whenever I figure out what the next step is going to be), but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to chill again. I'm a fair weather girl, and dead trees are just fucking ugly. So things like kayaking and hiking have lost their allure for the time being. I'll get it figured out though. I'm not so easily deterred.
#4 - Do I even need to explain this? I'm not saying you need to get hammered to have a good time, but a good buzz can exponentially increase the hilarity of a lot of situations. Also, if tequila even touches my tongue I can go from being the wort person to be around to the happiest mother fucker on planet earth.
#5 - Two words: Adventure Tuesdays (probably Saturdays for all you fuckers with an 8-5. Lucky bastards) I guess I discovered this over this last summer when I was finding out what free time was and how it's best utilized. I'd had no idea how miserable I was in school until summer was coming to an end and I crammed in a road trip to Houston/Galveston/San Antonio and a camping trip in one week. #4 also played a big role in that week, and by the end of it I had jumped off a cliff, gotten a sunburn that would make the devil himself jealous, taught myself to surf, vomited uncontrollably in the woods, and I suspect I was nearly eaten by a mountain lion. I regret nothing.
#6 - As alluring as it sounds to just have life be one big party and adventure all the time, you need a purpose. Or at least I do. I guess I've always known that I needed a purpose, and I've desperately searched for one that fits me, one that I can enjoy and make a career out of, but it never hit as hard as it did these last couple of weeks since graduating. Nothing hits you in the face like someone saying, "Oh, you graduated college, where are you working now?" I know I'm very fortunate to have a good paying, full-time job and no college loans to be paying off, but there's nothing I hate more than answering that question right now because the answer is "the same fucking thing I've been doing for the last three years." I love my job, really I do, but it's nothing I want to make a career out of. It was purely meant to get me through college and no further. I'm the kind of person that's always had the next ten steps figured out. Honestly, for a while I did have the next several steps figured out, but not anymore. Life is funny like that. I heard somewhere that life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans, and that's definitely what's happened. The simple fact that I haven't gotten it figured out yet is driving my type A personality up a wall. I do have an alter ego though, my type B side. My type B side is just enjoying the free time.
While I find reflection to be one of the more valuable things about new years, and I hate the "new year, new me" bullshit everyone tries to sell on their facebook posts, I maintain that reflection can go both ways. Resolutions are a good idea, people just don't know how to execute them. Resolutions aren't meant to come around every 365 days, they're meant to come around whenever you discover the need for improvement or change. If it's November, or June or February and you decide shit needs to happen, make that shit happen. Fuck resolutions day. I will, however, concede to the fact that in order to propel yourself forward in life, it's important to set goals for yourself (constantly, not yearly) and while the new year is a convenient time to do that, it shouldn't be the only time you do it.
No attempt at philosophy would be complete without some hippocracy, so here's my goals for 2015.
1) Fist fight a shark.
2) Eat something spicy without crying.
3) Get fired from a trebuchet.
4) Hail a cab (preferably in a foreign country where you're scared for your life as you weave in and out of traffic at neck-breaking speeds).
5) Execute Ayman Al Zawahiri - MERICA.
Set a goal. Work towards it. Achieve it. Learn from it. Up the ante and repeat.
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